­

Democracy for everyone! (except our slaves)

Hong_Kong

At the gym this morning I saw on the news that thousands and thousands of brave Chinese people were staging a non-violent protest in Hong Kong. They were protesting their totalitarian government’s brutal regime, and not surprisingly their totalitarian government’s regime came down on them brutally.

163695908__776876b

Here is an obvious cry to the world for help. But where is America? Where is our bullshit save-the-world foreign policy now? Our government is always sticking its nose in other countries business. We have spent trillions of our tax dollars “liberating” and “democratizing” Iraq and Afghanistan. So where are the world police now?

Selling guns to “rebels” in Syria. Is that what global democracy is all about? Why aren’t we liberating China? First of all we don’t have the balls to step up to China, and second of all we just don’t care.

We all know China pretty much owns America anyways, and if their slave population makes our disposable society possible then so be it. If we freed the slaves in China our cell phones and flat-screens might cost more, so screw those guys. Let’s go shopping!

At least the revolting workers in China know they are slaves. America’s wage-slaves remain oblivious.

September 30th, 2014|Clarify your MIND|0 Comments

Jews on a plane

Where is Samuel Jackson when you need him?

Recently a couple Ultra-Orthodox Jews made a huge scene and delayed an El Al flight because they refused to be seated next to a woman. Apparently these Orthodox men, also called “Haredim”, follow an ancient tradition that forbids them from having contact, (including accidently touching elbows on an armrest), with any woman who is not immediate family for fear that they will become impure.

I have a question. If your ancient tradition is so prescious, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON A JET AIRPLANE IN THE FIRST PLACE? Let me guess. Is it because your holy books definitely have a lot of things to say about how the goyim and women are impure, but they don’t say anything about airplanes so its ok for you to fly?

You don’t see Amish people demanding that their oxen be allowed to sit in the seat next to them on a plane do you?

Israeli Ultra-Orthodox communities have also lobbied for gender segregation on buses, at checkout counters and in other public spaces. What a bunch of (circumcised) dicks! Demanding that the world outside their temple walls conform to their bigoted and backwards worldview.

In researching this event I found out that this was not the first time these Orthococks-Jews have caused a ruckus on a flight. It gets even crazier.

Check this out. Airlines have also had to deal with Ultra-Orthodox men of priestly descent called “kohanim” who seal themselves in plastic bags used to transport dead bodies to avoid ritual impurity when flying over a cemetery. Let me repeat that because at first glance that seems too crazy to be true. There are a class of Jewish priest who are so strict about not walking into (or flying over!) a cemetery that when they boarded an airplane that might fly over a cemetery, they actually sealed themselves in a body bag. Don’t believe me? See for yourself.

jpOezc5

Sweet irony! “I’m afraid of dead people so I’m going to hide in this body bag. My holy book says I can’t go over the top of a cemetery in any way shape or form, but I can seal myself in this plastic bag and then the ghosts, or whatever might render me impure can’t see me.”

Can you believe that there are people who believe this stuff? As if their almighty Jehovah won’t notice that they have broken the rules as long as they hide in a plastic bag. Like whatever spirits they are trying to avoid can get into a plane flying hundreds of miles per hour and thousands of feet in the air, but once the impure spirits are inside the plane they won’t be able to get through a plastic bag.

Mind-boggling and utterly inappropriate. In fact in 2002 a flight crew got into a heated dispute with a passenger who attempted to fly wrapped in plastic, and the confrontation eventually led the pilot to turn the plane around.

This stuff would be funny if it wasn’t true. This is what happens when the Bronze-Age meets the Space-Age. This is what it looks like when a religion becomes obsolete. I think these guys should stay wherever they call home, seal themselves in plastic bags, and never come out.

 

September 30th, 2014|Liberate your SOUL|0 Comments

GOT to GET

When I say ‘GOT to GET’ I don’t mean it like I’ve got to get something because I need to have it. I am talking about the power of changing the word ‘got’ to the word ‘get’.

Long before I had ever heard of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), or re-framing, I understood the importance of the words one chooses to use. It is our language that forms our worldview and something as simple as changing the word ‘got’ to the word ‘get’ can make a massive difference in not only how you think, but how you feel as well.

15-20 years ago I made a decision to stop saying “I’ve GOT to go to work right now” and start saying “I GET to go to work right now.” Can you see the difference between those two seemingly similar sentences? The first sentence implies that there is no choice and that work is something I have to do whether I like it or not. The second sentence not only implies that there is a choice, it implies that I actually like the choice. The second sentence has gratitude built right into it. Work (even if it’s at a job I don’t particularly like) is something that I get to do because I am lucky enough to have a job.

The same can be said for any other substitution of GOT to GET.

“I’ve got to do the dishes”, which seems like a chore, becomes “I get to do the dishes” which implies gratitude for the fact that you even have the food to make a dish dirty in the first place.

“I gotta drive 2 hours to get there”, which sounds like a hassle, becomes “I get to drive 2 hours to get there” which implies that you are grateful for the fact that you have a car to drive at all. 100 years ago that trip might have taken days on horseback, or you might have had to walk from LA to San Diego. It gives you a completely different perspective to think “I GET to sit in traffic”.

Having a GOT to GET mentality reminds you that life, with all its ups and downs, is a miraculous privilege to be appreciated. GOT to GET can be the difference between looking at your responsibilities as burdens or blessings. Changing one single letter, an O to an E, can be the difference between being hateful or being grateful. Try it yourself and see.

 

September 28th, 2014|Clarify your MIND|0 Comments

I’ve just had a revelation!

Obviously SANTA is an anagram for SATAN.

But now I am pleased to report that I have just discovered (for perhaps the first time in recorded history) that CHRISTMAS is an anagram for…   CRAMS SHIT

Says it all.

September 27th, 2014|Clarify your MIND, Liberate your SOUL|0 Comments

Well, it’s official

Christmas starts in September now.

A couple of my recent posts have been about the disgustingly disturbing appearance of Christmas crap in the middle of September. In fact tonight, September 26th, is the night of the Christmas choir concert I wrote about, so it should come as no real surprise (although it does sicken me to see), that stores in the mall are advertising for Christmas now as well.

image

This picture was taken 3 full months before Christmas! How fucking insane is that?! Imagine if people started putting out Valentine’s Day decorations weeks before Thanksgiving.

We can look forward to 90 more days of religious bullshit, cultural brainwashing, and lying to children, (those are all basically the same thing). and I’m sure that all the holiday cheer, peace on earth, and ‘good will towards men’ stuff will be nowhere to be found until the presents come around.

September 27th, 2014|Liberate your SOUL|0 Comments

Do they have a Nobel prize for WAR?

Because it seems to me like that is the prize our dear leader should have gotten. (Never mind the fact that he got a Nobel peace prize for doing jack shit. He never even closed Guantanamo, he escalated the drone strikes, and he continues to spy on his own people. But I digress…)

These are the words that Obama spoke at the UN yesterday in reference to the new made-up enemy, ISIS: “No grievance justifies these actions. There can be no reasoning – no negotiation – with this brand of evil. The only language understood by killers like this is the language of force. So the United States of America will work with a broad coalition to dismantle this network of death.” Does that sound like something Gandhi or Mandela would say? Are those the words of a peaceful man? What a hypocrite!

It occurred to me today that someone who truly deserves a peace prize is the one person who it appears was keeping the entire Middle-East from spiraling out of control. That person is…….SADDAM HUSSEIN.

Saddam was almost certainly a giant asshole, a dictator and a megalomaniac of the highest order, but his iron fist was apparently keeping the Middle-East from descending into the civil war shitstorm it has become ever since we “liberated” Iraq’s oil. Oops, I mean Iraq’s people. no wait, I mean oil.

 

September 26th, 2014|Clarify your MIND|0 Comments

Siiiiilent night, hooooly S#!T

Well, it turns out that the grotesquely premature Christmas decorations I wrote about last week (ON SEPTEMBER 16TH!) were not an isolated event.

I came home yesterday to find that someone had anonymously left on my doorstep an envelope containing two free tickets to a Christmas choir concert.

The fact that the date I found the tickets was SEPTEMBER 24TH would normally be enough to freak me out.

The fact that I found the tickets 8 days after what I optimistically thought was a fluke appearance of Christmas decorations in a store 99 days before Christmas was definitely enough to freak me out, but I kept myself together with a heavy heart and a deep sigh.

And then… I looked at the date on the ticket for the Christmas concert and I nearly shat blood. Look for yourself and see what the world is coming to.

 

image

September 26th!!!!!! SEPTEMBER TWENTY-SIXTH!!!??!?!?!!!?! And this concert isn’t at some church or tiny venue. It is at the shrine auditorium. 90 days before Christmas!!!

Barf-humbug!

 

 

September 25th, 2014|Liberate your SOUL|0 Comments

Brad Pitt strokes the shaft

image

Here we go again. Yet another glorification of war. Yet another hunky guy with his gun.

And what a doozie this poster is! Hollywood’s biggest male star with the biggest gun they could find. They couldn’t even fit the whole gun on the billboard, just the shaft, the long…hard shaft.

Brad Pitt caressing a giant dick-shaped death machine. I smell an Oscar.

 

September 20th, 2014|Clarify your MIND|1 Comment

This beautiful newborn baby is NOT A SINNER

image

Some friends of mine were recently blessed with this beautiful baby girl. After they sent me this picture I spent a good amount of time just looking at it, being happy for them, and pondering the miracle of existence.

Later however, it occurred to me that a majority of the ‘good’ Christian people in this insane country/world believe that this newborn baby is a SINNER. They actually believe that there is something inherently wrong with this brand new human. They believe that this baby is born into sin and damned to eternal hellfire unless she accepts that god had his son nailed to a cross because of her.

Grim

I prefer to believe that this precious new soul is perfect and filled with pure potential.

September 20th, 2014|Liberate your SOUL|0 Comments

F–k you Hollywood

You hypocritical scumbags.

Here’s the poster for the latest blockbuster to come down the shitpipe. Here is the latest glorification of the almighty gun.

In this poster they don’t even bother to put an actor’s face. They just put a big pistol.

The-Drop-movie-image

Now they are just putting pictures of the guns on the posters because that’s all Americans care about anyway. Good for you Hollywood. You have finally broken it down to the heart of the matter. Since the actors change but the movies remain the same, you have finally decided to raise guns to their proper place. The guns are the true stars of the movies anyways.

Imagine if there was only one 9mm pistol that was in all the movies with a 9mm pistol in it. That gun would be an A-list star. Imagine that there was only one Uzi in all the shoot-’em-ups you ever saw. You would probably want that gun’s autograph. What if there was only one 12-gague shotgun that was in every movie with Stallone, and Schwarzenegger, and Willis etc? That gun would have grossed more box office than any star in history!

Forget about the actors, lets make the guns themselves famous. We can put imprints of them in the cement outside the Mann Chinese Theater. “Oooh, look honey, there is the imprint of the handle of the gun that was in all those shitty violent movies. Lets take a picture!”

It’s time to put the guns in your own mouth Hollywood. Put all of them in your slimy, violence peddling mouth and pull all the triggers at once.

The End

 

 

September 18th, 2014|Clarify your MIND|1 Comment